Best wine seller hyperbole / prattle...

[crusty2]

The toast of the world: Barossa Shiraz awarded two coveted international gold medals

http://www.abc.net.au/news/rural/2017-0 ... s_adelaide
This is a "Zombie" label made for Woolworths owned liquor outlets.
The wine may be OK but still hyped up.

[Matt@5453]

... my sediments exactly, like you said a relative small spread of producers. Steven Pannell gets quite a mention also.

An intentional pun? At the very least a happy coincidence I'd say.

not sure what you are referring to . my sediments: I agree with SJW, its an odd list

[phillisc]

The egregious wine thread...when I have the stamina I might revisit.
Cheers
Craig

[Mahmoud Ali]

... my sediments exactly, like you said a relative small spread of producers. Steven Pannell gets quite a mention also.

An intentional pun? At the very least a happy coincidence I'd say.

not sure what you are referring to . my sediments: I agree with SJW, its an odd list

I understand that you agree with SJW, but I think you meant to say "my sentiments exactly" not sediments, which as you know is the dregs at the bottom of the bottle. I suspected it was an auto-correct issue but it was fun to think it was an intentional pun.

Mahmoud

[sjw_11]

The toast of the world: Barossa Shiraz awarded two coveted international gold medals

http://www.abc.net.au/news/rural/2017-0 ... s_adelaide
This is a "Zombie" label made for Woolworths owned liquor outlets.
The wine may be OK but still hyped up.

Its the best wine...

ScreenShot053.jpg

[JamieBahrain]

Always felt there was a massive market for a $20 Barossa shiraz delevering the region in a bottle with some fanfare. Like a poor man's Basket Press in concept but not quality.

[Michael McNally]

Always felt there was a massive market for a $20 Barossa shiraz delevering the region in a bottle with some fanfare. Like a poor man's Basket Press in concept but not quality.

Epsilon.

Shhhhh

Michael

[sjw_11]

Given it has already been mentioned in another thread, I thought we should include one of the pushes for "Italy’s Best Red" (as this email was headlined):

"Luca Maroni is like Italy’s version of James Halliday, revered as the definitive wine critic on all Italian wines.

When Luca Maroni says that “this is the best red wine tasted this year”, there is a stampede by lovers of Italian wine for his recommendation.

Luca Maroni has rated the Farnese Edizione Cinque Autoctoni (15th edition) 99 points (and we don’t believe that he has ever rated a wine higher - ever). As always we have the lowest price around (and given its pedigree it is a bargain buy on a world scale), yours for… "





[Bobthebuilder]

For,......?
Just tell them the price son!

[Ian S]

Given it has already been mentioned in another thread, I thought we should include one of the pushes for "Italy’s Best Red" (as this email was headlined):

"Luca Maroni is like Italy’s version of James Halliday, revered as the definitive wine critic on all Italian wines.

When Luca Maroni says that “this is the best red wine tasted this year”, there is a stampede by lovers of Italian wine for his recommendation.

Luca Maroni has rated the Farnese Edizione Cinque Autoctoni (15th edition) 99 points (and we don’t believe that he has ever rated a wine higher - ever). As always we have the lowest price around (and given its pedigree it is a bargain buy on a world scale), yours for… "





Wow. What a super-concentrated pile of tosh.

[sjw_11]

For,......?
Just tell them the price son!

A package like this should £100's ... but before I tell you the price, wait- there's more! If you call now, I will throw in these steak knives absolutely free... But wait, there's even more! If you pay by credit card, I will throw in this set of 100% Titanium bath knives... they will cut through a bath like butter... and even afterwards, they are still sharp enough to cut this tomato!


(the bath knives is from an old Full Frontal skit on the Danone (sic?) guy ... that ended, IIRC, with him throwing in knife knives)

[WAwineguy]

And the price is.....?

[sjw_11]

About $29.99 or so if you really want to know

[Bobthebuilder]

I wonder if the little doer is still selling carpet
Use to love those ads

[mjs]

Just got a mail out from Moorilla boasting about Halliday ratings. Talk about "damned by feint praise".

Halliday has spoken.

The latest edition of the revered critic’s Bible of Wine (aka the Halliday Wine Companion 2018) has awarded thirteen Moorilla wines with 90 points or higher—Moorilla’s best year ever of Halliday reviews.

Imagine how hard that would be if you put enough bottles in front of His Hallidayness? Gunna get 90 these days for just turning up

[sjw_11]

Oh my word...

"Dear Samuel,

What makes a great wine?

Some are thought-provoking, cerebral affairs. The kind to natter over for an hour, lost in conversation amongst a group of friends.

Others, more perfunctory - wines for the moment. That kind where place and mindset matter most. Being one and without care for the world. Lost in the land, the history, the now.

Then there are great wines of the future. The young, unfurled prima donna that hasn't quite found its stride yet. Destined for the cellar where a long sleep awaits, to unearth potential wisdom, maturity and hopefully greatness - all for a later date.

Finally, there are those that come along only ever so often and punch you smack-bang, directly in the feels. A wine, not necessarily of enormity, or one that requires a deep knowledge of the subject, the history and terroir, but one of substance. Of truth. Of ultimate greatness. Delicious now. Unparalleled. Exuberant. Full of vitality and presence. A wine that makes you rediscover why you fell in love with this whole caper in the first place.

That wine for me, and those who work here, who tasted it together, is (and was) the 2015 Dog Point Pinot Noir. The finest yet produced from this estate, and a new benchmark for what can be achieved from the usually Sauvignon centric Marlborough.

It strikes you. Out of nowhere. A punch of Pinot flavour. It tastes otherworldly, but assured. Knowing its place, but then bending the rules. That it's from Marlborough, let alone Otago, Martinborough or dare-I-say-it, Burgundy the ultimate surprise. It is a thirst quencher; satiating the appetite for great Pinot, and affordability. Stalky, crunchy, moreish. Rose, raspberry, chinotto and plums. Chocolate, grippy tannins finishing with power and poise. Oak that is handled perfectly. For lovers of Pinot, you will rarely find a wine of this ilk. For the occasional passing Pinot fans - then let this be the one wine to finally snare you in. I implore you. This will not be a wine you regret purchasing anytime soon."

[cleanskinlover]

Maybe Yalumba 'Caley' is the marketing department first! But I've seen plenty taste it and then order some. For those who purchase the Granges and HOG's it does not embarrass itself.

[Michael McNally]

Oh my word...

"Dear Samuel,

What makes a great wine?

Some are thought-provoking, cerebral affairs. The kind to natter over for an hour, lost in conversation amongst a group of friends.

Others, more perfunctory - wines for the moment. That kind where place and mindset matter most. Being one and without care for the world. Lost in the land, the history, the now.

Then there are great wines of the future. The young, unfurled prima donna that hasn't quite found its stride yet. Destined for the cellar where a long sleep awaits, to unearth potential wisdom, maturity and hopefully greatness - all for a later date.

Finally, there are those that come along only ever so often and punch you smack-bang, directly in the feels. A wine, not necessarily of enormity, or one that requires a deep knowledge of the subject, the history and terroir, but one of substance. Of truth. Of ultimate greatness. Delicious now. Unparalleled. Exuberant. Full of vitality and presence. A wine that makes you rediscover why you fell in love with this whole caper in the first place.

That wine for me, and those who work here, who tasted it together, is (and was) the 2015 Dog Point Pinot Noir. The finest yet produced from this estate, and a new benchmark for what can be achieved from the usually Sauvignon centric Marlborough.

It strikes you. Out of nowhere. A punch of Pinot flavour. It tastes otherworldly, but assured. Knowing its place, but then bending the rules. That it's from Marlborough, let alone Otago, Martinborough or dare-I-say-it, Burgundy the ultimate surprise. It is a thirst quencher; satiating the appetite for great Pinot, and affordability. Stalky, crunchy, moreish. Rose, raspberry, chinotto and plums. Chocolate, grippy tannins finishing with power and poise. Oak that is handled perfectly. For lovers of Pinot, you will rarely find a wine of this ilk. For the occasional passing Pinot fans - then let this be the one wine to finally snare you in. I implore you. This will not be a wine you regret purchasing anytime soon."

I need a wine that "punches me in the feels".

Everything abut the description pointed to a winemaker enamoured with their own product, except for ", and affordability".

Nice pitch.

Cheers

Michael

[sjw_11]

I need a wine that "punches me in the feels".

Oh my word, I actually missed that. I think my brain could not process the inanity of it.

Now I cannot get the image of a bunch of wine geeks clutching bottles of Premier Cru and singing Feels...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozv4q2ov3Mk

With the lyrical substitution from "I know you aint afraid to pop pills" to "I know you aint afraid to pop Dom" naturally...

[Ozzie W]

Just received a Pinot Noir offer via email "with a stellar 92 Points from James Halliday."

[felixp21]

Oh my word...

"Dear Samuel,

What makes a great wine?

Some are thought-provoking, cerebral affairs. The kind to natter over for an hour, lost in conversation amongst a group of friends.

Others, more perfunctory - wines for the moment. That kind where place and mindset matter most. Being one and without care for the world. Lost in the land, the history, the now.

Then there are great wines of the future. The young, unfurled prima donna that hasn't quite found its stride yet. Destined for the cellar where a long sleep awaits, to unearth potential wisdom, maturity and hopefully greatness - all for a later date.

Finally, there are those that come along only ever so often and punch you smack-bang, directly in the feels. A wine, not necessarily of enormity, or one that requires a deep knowledge of the subject, the history and terroir, but one of substance. Of truth. Of ultimate greatness. Delicious now. Unparalleled. Exuberant. Full of vitality and presence. A wine that makes you rediscover why you fell in love with this whole caper in the first place.

That wine for me, and those who work here, who tasted it together, is (and was) the 2015 Dog Point Pinot Noir. The finest yet produced from this estate, and a new benchmark for what can be achieved from the usually Sauvignon centric Marlborough.

It strikes you. Out of nowhere. A punch of Pinot flavour. It tastes otherworldly, but assured. Knowing its place, but then bending the rules. That it's from Marlborough, let alone Otago, Martinborough or dare-I-say-it, Burgundy the ultimate surprise. It is a thirst quencher; satiating the appetite for great Pinot, and affordability. Stalky, crunchy, moreish. Rose, raspberry, chinotto and plums. Chocolate, grippy tannins finishing with power and poise. Oak that is handled perfectly. For lovers of Pinot, you will rarely find a wine of this ilk. For the occasional passing Pinot fans - then let this be the one wine to finally snare you in. I implore you. This will not be a wine you regret purchasing anytime soon."

oh my goodness. This thread can be stopped now, as this quote cannot POSSIBLY be beaten. I would be embarrassed if this was talking about a bottle of recently released La Tache, or RC (although that is harder to taste when young).
Like many on this site, I have seen this wine, twice as I recall, and in it is an ok wine, not bad, around 88pts for me. This guy and his description makes David White's drivel assessing Greenock Creek wines positively mundane.
Surely, this guy wakes up in the morning, gets a hot flush, feels nauseated, and thinks to himself "oh god, did I really write that?
And we wonder how the term "wine wanker" evolved!!!!!

[tarija]

Oh my word...

"Dear Samuel,

What makes a great wine?

Some are thought-provoking, cerebral affairs. The kind to natter over for an hour, lost in conversation amongst a group of friends.

Others, more perfunctory - wines for the moment. That kind where place and mindset matter most. Being one and without care for the world. Lost in the land, the history, the now.

Then there are great wines of the future. The young, unfurled prima donna that hasn't quite found its stride yet. Destined for the cellar where a long sleep awaits, to unearth potential wisdom, maturity and hopefully greatness - all for a later date.

Finally, there are those that come along only ever so often and punch you smack-bang, directly in the feels. A wine, not necessarily of enormity, or one that requires a deep knowledge of the subject, the history and terroir, but one of substance. Of truth. Of ultimate greatness. Delicious now. Unparalleled. Exuberant. Full of vitality and presence. A wine that makes you rediscover why you fell in love with this whole caper in the first place.

That wine for me, and those who work here, who tasted it together, is (and was) the 2015 Dog Point Pinot Noir. The finest yet produced from this estate, and a new benchmark for what can be achieved from the usually Sauvignon centric Marlborough.

It strikes you. Out of nowhere. A punch of Pinot flavour. It tastes otherworldly, but assured. Knowing its place, but then bending the rules. That it's from Marlborough, let alone Otago, Martinborough or dare-I-say-it, Burgundy the ultimate surprise. It is a thirst quencher; satiating the appetite for great Pinot, and affordability. Stalky, crunchy, moreish. Rose, raspberry, chinotto and plums. Chocolate, grippy tannins finishing with power and poise. Oak that is handled perfectly. For lovers of Pinot, you will rarely find a wine of this ilk. For the occasional passing Pinot fans - then let this be the one wine to finally snare you in. I implore you. This will not be a wine you regret purchasing anytime soon."

oh my goodness. This thread can be stopped now, as this quote cannot POSSIBLY be beaten. I would be embarrassed if this was talking about a bottle of recently released La Tache, or RC (although that is harder to taste when young).
Like many on this site, I have seen this wine, twice as I recall, and in it is an ok wine, not bad, around 88pts for me. This guy and his description makes David White's drivel assessing Greenock Creek wines positively mundane.
Surely, this guy wakes up in the morning, gets a hot flush, feels nauseated, and thinks to himself "oh god, did I really write that?
And we wonder how the term "wine wanker" evolved!!!!!

I'll give the retailer some credit though, at least it wasn't just a spewforth of points...which is pretty much all most wine emails contain nowadays. Appears that he/she has at least tasted the wine they are trying to sell, and are standing by their impressions.

[sjw_11]

"Over 10 years on and these wines are singing- like the studious understudy, they have bided their time in the background to finally steal the show with a last minute appearance. The conservative Mark Darcy, stealing our hearts from the flash Daniel Cleaver.

To labour this tortured analogy even more, like Colin Firth, 2006 is a classic. By dint of the cooler year, the wine produced is more reminiscent of what we know as ‘claret’, with the finely balanced aromas of graphite, cedar and cassis which have identified the best of the breed for generations."

(FYI flogging 2006 Latour).

[phillisc]

"Over 10 years on and these wines are singing- like the studious understudy, they have bided their time in the background to finally steal the show with a last minute appearance. The conservative Mark Darcy, stealing our hearts from the flash Daniel Cleaver.

To labour this tortured analogy even more, like Colin Firth, 2006 is a classic. By dint of the cooler year, the wine produced is more reminiscent of what we know as ‘claret’, with the finely balanced aromas of graphite, cedar and cassis which have identified the best of the breed for generations."

(FYI flogging 2006 Latour).

Was there a street fight to follow Sam?
Cheers craig

[sjw_11]

Oh dear,

‘...the intensity of the mature layers of dark chocolate, tobacco, black truffles from Vaucluse and a melancholy hiking in the moist autumn forest is, at least, impressive. The mousse may struggle to reach the surface of the glycerol rich essence of wine. Nevertheless, it tingles of lust on the tongue when stringency, chalk and jingling pure acids dance over the finish line.’
96 points, Richard Juhlin

anyone want to guess what the wine is?

[Dragzworthy]

Oh dear,

‘...the intensity of the mature layers of dark chocolate, tobacco, black truffles from Vaucluse and a melancholy hiking in the moist autumn forest is, at least, impressive. The mousse may struggle to reach the surface of the glycerol rich essence of wine. Nevertheless, it tingles of lust on the tongue when stringency, chalk and jingling pure acids dance over the finish line.’
96 points, Richard Juhlin

anyone want to guess what the wine is?

chateau Merde de Bovine?

[Hunter]

Banrock station. In cask ?

[sjw_11]

I think this one is worse because it is actually a critic review (though it qualified for this thread by dint of being sent to me by a store trying to flog the wine)

According to Wikipedia "He holds the world record since 1998 in the number of champagnes tasted, having currently tasted over 10 000 different champagnes. 1999 in Stockholm he arranged the greatest champagne tasting in history, with the 150 best champagnes ever made."

Seems he wrote his own Wikipedia page...

[sjw_11]

Another beauty from a usual suspect I have picked on before...

"If you are a little like me and pray to the holy gods of white Burgundy, then you will surely know of the wines of Domaine Leflaive and Coche-Dury.

These iconic producers are known the world over for their quintessential house style, where the quest for fruit purity, texture and minerality is as important in the vineyard as it is in the craft of winemaking itself. Not being held captive to the ancient tradition of highly oxidative winemaking, these two producers are known to be pushing boundaries of what modern Burgundian wine should be at present.

....


The modern reductive method is a style that has been copied around the world, and not the least in Australia, where the art of steering Chardonnay through the murky waters of vinification has become a science that we seem to have taken on board and ran with. None more so, than the example before you today - the 2016 Domaine Naturaliste Artus Chardonnay. This wine is the academic, textbook example of how this kind of winemaking can really work wonders on Chardonnay.

At one, it is every bit as good as the wines of Leflaive and Coche. It nails the style perfectly, (via way of the Margaret River and the riper, wholistic sun-drenched gin-gin Chardonnay that is on call.) The fruit is absolutely omnipresent - radiant in the riper display of stone fruit, cashew and pear, while the smoky sulphide and slight lactic funk just sit atop, as though it is adding to the overall feel, but not taking centre-stage. There is complexity galore here too - freshly baked sourdough toast, cedar wood oak and of course the always reliable grapefruit pith and lemon sherbert tang of crunchy natural grape acids. What a wine this is."

[sjw_11]

I am a bit sad we haven't unearthed any good hyperbole for awhile (although there has been no end to the egregious pricing thread!)

But I did get an email today from a French online store offering Bin 389 2016...

Penfolds est une success story incroyable ! ... Richement constitué, Bin 389 2016 mérite bien son nom de « Baby Grange ». Empruntant à son aîné les codes de son raffinement et son assemblage syrah/cabernet, il s’en distingue dans une vision plus souple qui le rend totalement excitant et irrésistible... Toute la fougue de Grange et son fruit légendaire s’offrent ici avec élégance et simplicité : une belle entrée en matière.

I like the poetic nature of the Google auto translate:

Penfolds is an incredible success story ! Richly constituted, Bin 389 2016 deserves its name of "Baby Grange". Borrowing from his elder the codes of his refinement and his blend syrah / cabernet, he stands out in a more flexible vision that makes it totally exciting and irresistible. ... All the ardor of Grange and its legendary fruit are offered here with elegance and simplicity: a beautiful entry in matter.

All yours for just €68 (c$115 AUD... from an online store offering so-called "best" and secret prices). Oh la la, la la. Mind you maybe that's a good deal- what's the RRP these days?